TOOLKITS

Tools that strengthen your realtalk@MIT Muscles for better conversations and reflection.

CONVERSATION TOOLS

Communication gets stronger with practice and oftentimes we don’t know the best way to word what we’re actually trying to say. With this in mind, conversation tools are not scripts that you memorize. They are starting points that can help you slow down, stay curious and communicate with greater intention. Try using some of these during difficult conversations or everyday interactions. As you continue to build your realtalk Muscles and skills, these tools become less about the exact words you use and more about the habits they represent. 

Conversation tools strengthen the Compound realtalk Muscles, which train awareness of the dynamics between two people, as well as the Performance Muscles, which train awareness of group dynamics.

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Curious Questions

To ask more curious questions, try asking:

  • “Can you tell me more?”
  • “What led you to that conclusion?”
  • “What experiences shaped that view?”

Inviting others In

To invite others into the conversation, try saying:

  • “I’d love to hear your thoughts…”
  • “Does anyone have a different perspective?”
  • “What would you add?”

Navigating Disagreement

To better navigate disagreements, try saying:

  • “I see this differently and I’d like to understand where you’re coming from.”
  • “We may not agree, but I appreciate hearing your perspective.”
  • “What would moving forward together look like?”

Perspective Taking

To better understand others' perspectives, try asking:

  • "What experiences have shaped your thinking?"
  • "Can you help me understand what this has been like for you?"

Reflective Listening

To reflect back and confirm your understanding, start with:

  • “What I hear you saying is…”
  • “It sounds like…”
  • “Did I get that right?”

Repair Statements

When it's not going well, or you've made a mistake, try saying:

  • “I don’t think I expressed that well.”
  • “Can I try again?”
  • “I realize I made an assumption.”

REFLECTION PROMPTS

Three people in a serious discussion around a table with a glass of water and pens visible, one woman speaking and gesturing with her hands.

Reflection is one of the most powerful ways to strengthen your capabilities because it helps us notice patterns, challenge assumptions and intentionally choose how we want to show up in future conversations. Use the following prompts before, during, or after a conversation! Below are a few examples of reflection questions you can use to practice.

Reflection prompts strengthen the Foundational realtalk Muscles, which train self-awareness and build internal stability, as well as the Performance Muscles, which train awareness of group dynamics.

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Belonging

Ask yourself:

  • When have I felt more included?
  • How do I help others feel seen?

Collaboration

Ask yourself:

  • How am I contributing to the conversation?
  • What strengths does each person bring?
  • What outcome serves the group better than my individual preference?

Curiosity

Ask yourself:

  • What might I be missing?
  • What would I ask if I wanted to understand rather than respond?
  • What do I notice?

Group Dynamics

Ask yourself:

  • Whose voices are missing? Whose voices are shaping this conversation?
  • Whose patterns do I notice in how the group interacts?
  • How does the group respond to disagreement or uncertainty?

Reflection

Ask yourself:

  • What went well?
  • What challenged me?
  • What would I do differently next time?

Self-Awareness

Ask yourself:

  • What story am I telling myself?
  • What emotions am I noticing?
  • What assumptions am I making?

Systems Thinking

Ask yourself:

  • What larger systems or structures might be influencing this situation?
  • What factors am I overlooking?
  • How are individual actions connected to broader outcomes?